9-27-10

I tried to go to work today and I couldn't. It was so difficult and I mentally wasn't there. My good managers told me to go home and be with my family. Thank you HP!

On my way home I received a call from my home teacher and good friend, Mike Nazman. He is totally handling our move and painting of our new home. Go figure, we close on our new home in the middle of all this! Mikes uncle own a flooring company and he is working on getting us new carpet for Rylee's room so her room can be as clean as possible while going through treatment.

I found myself calling different hospitals this morning around the country looking for help. I realized what I was looking for was HOPE! I have never felt so helpless in my life. My little Rylee is at the mercy of cancer and she has no idea what she will be going through. Just this morning I had to give her drops to help protect her thyroid while going through Chemo and I missed a drop in her mouth and it hit her lip. The drop burned her lip! I cant imagine what this must be doing to my little Rylee!

I am so proud of my strong wife Karen. She is an amazing woman and I am so proud to be married to her. I am glad that we are together and we have each other to go down this untraveled road together.

This is a place for me to be able to put down my thoughts, feelings and emotions. It may not make a lot sense sometimes but I have learned that sometimes I just need to get it out so I can cope!

Our New Journey:

9-22-10 we learned information that would change our life forever. My little Rylee was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma Cancer stage 4, the final stage. I have never cried more in my life knowing that I might lose my youngest of 4 kids. As I hold her in my arms wondering why, a peace comes over me and my testimony of God's plan of salvation burns stronger in my heart.